20 Body Language Tricks That Let You Control Conversations

Your body language says a lot about you and your reaction to a conversation you are having. You may appear agitated without even knowing it. You can lose control of a conversation easily with poor body language. Depending on the type of conversation you are engaged in, here are some tips to give you more control over a conversation.

Defensive Body Language Tips

1. Invade someone’s personal space. This is a sign of dominance. Either your conversation partner will back away or also show dominant, defensive behaviors.
2. Unblinking eye contact can be intimidating. Essentially you are staring someone down until they look away.
3. Standing up straight and tall. In nature, animals make themselves appear larger to avoid conflict and establish dominance with predators or competition. The same technique works in the human world.
4. Speak first. Speaking first gives you the upper hand immediately.
5. Touch the person first. Extend your hand to shake hands, touch a person’s elbow, cover their hand while you shake hands. Being the first person to touch another opens up conversation while maintaining control.
6. Turn your body at an angle to squeeze an uninvited guest out. The third wheel will get the idea.
Positive and Powerful Body Language Tips
7. Maintain a steady even tone. Appear calm, cool and collected by not raising your voice or speaking too quickly.
8. Speak heart to heart, or straight forward, to show interest in the conversation.
9. Steer your listener in the direction you wish to go while talking.
10. If you are sitting, keep your feet flat on the floor. Uncross your legs and sit straight up. You’ll appear more confident and interested.
11. Gradually nod in agreement while you are listening to another person speak. Don’t jerk your head around with impatience.
12. Keep your arms open. Crossing your arms is a defensive motion. Keeping your limbs open and relaxed makes you seem comfortable with the situation.
13. Don’t touch your face or cover your mouth with your hands. This movement can make you appear as if you are lying or trying to cover up something.
14. Lean in slightly while another person is talking.
15. Use your hands confidently during a conversation.
16. Don’t fidget while speaking. Fidgeting shows nervousness.
17. Be aware of your facial expressions while you are talking and listening. Remember to smile when you greet and leave someone.
18. Don’t reveal too much information. It can get awkward very quickly.
19. Don’t steal someone else’s thunder when they are telling a story. Allow them to finish and relate if you can.
20. Relax your shoulders to avoid appearing uptight or nervous.

These are just some of the ways you can control your own body language. Reading a person’s non-vocal cues is another subject. For more body language techniques, check out this book, The Definitive Book of Body Language, by Barbara Pease or this list from the Washington Post.

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